Well, what were YOU wearing?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SdBuq2UTruM

Have you ever felt uncomfortable when you get cat calls? Are guys following you home, making you feel uncomfortable and afraid for your virtue? Are they doing this in groups and yelling out what each of them are going to do to you? If so, the most important question is: well, what were you wearing? This has to be the source of all of your scary man problems. You are the problem… right? NO! You are beautiful the way you are; tank tops, turtle necks, maxi dresses, leather skirts, little black dresses, sweat pants, etc. It is not your responsibility to control men’s behavior by what you wear. There is no excuse for violence in any form; further, there is NO excuse for blaming a victim for any reason. It doesn’t matter what clothing is or is not. Violence, especially sexual violence, is about POWER and not sex. We live in a ‘rape culture’ that blames victims and justifies oppressors. This also spurs slut shaming and fetishizing abuse in relationships. By asking “what were you wearing”, or saying “you should have known” does nothing but keep violence on top. There is nothing rational about telling someone they should have known that they were going to be a victim today. Women are socialized to be afraid of everything, and that violence towards them in inevitable. This perpetuates a cycle of excuses for those who do commit offenses against them.  It is not ok, and we have to start being conscious about changing it. We have to be there for the women who have had traumatic experiences, and support the women who are trying to stop violence. If we don’t change our outlook on violence, things can only get worse from here.

Don't Let Anyone Lie

Rihanna has been a rough subject with me for some time now. When all of the Chris Brown stuff came out a few years ago, I was totally on her side and ready for Chris to go to jail. It especially irked me when female celebrities either fell into the conspiracy of silence and said nothing about it, or said nothing against it. The only person who spoke out mildly against Brown was Usher, when he saw a photo of Brown jet skiing between court hearings. Usher is quoted saying, "Really man? You have no remorse?". Later, Usher had to make a public apology for making this statement. I think that is wrong. More people should have stood up for Rihanna, even if they didn't slander Chris Brown. Many people actually spoke out against her saying she has no right to call the police on Brown because they were celebrities and get special treatment. I don’t care if you are famous, poor, rich, mentally ill, or anything else; YOU HAVE A RIGHT TO BE SAFE AND PROTECTED. I still think he deserved far more punishment than he got, and I think she deserved to be supported as a survivor of abuse by everyone. But, as some victims do, she went back to her abuser. They are together and probably still in a toxic relationship.

I support her getting out of the relationship, but that is her business and her choice. I will not shame or judge someone for where they are, but support them becoming a survivor when or if they were a victim inside an abusive relationship. Then I heard "Love the Way You Lie" by Rihanna and Eminem, and realized something horrifying. Abuse is fetishized in our culture, and they are supporting that. She has experienced this herself and is not speaking against it, she is making it sexy. Neither one are speaking against it, just about it in a suggestive way. This song personally hurt me. I am an abuse survivor, and I can tell you there is nothing sexy, fun, or 'fetishable' about this matter. I would never wish what I have been through on my worst enemy, let alone teach it to others as ok through sex.

In the song Rihanna represents the woman saying "Just gonna stand there and watch me burn. That's alright because I like the way it hurts. Just gonna stand there and hear me cry. That's alright because I love the way you lie." This is saying that the woman enjoys it. She enjoys the pain of being struck down and beaten. This makes it sound like it is ok and even worse, normal. Then some of Eminem's rap lyrics say "As long as the wrong feels right it's like I'm in flight…I guess I don't know my own strength…Next time I'm pissed I'll aim my fist at the dry wall…If she ever tries to fuckin' leave again, I'ma tie her to the bed and set this house on fire!”. These are the words of a person who abuses, knows it’s wrong, still does it, and gets off on it. There is no changing, no going back, and no truth in any apology. The lyrics even say, “I apologize, even though I know it's lies!” The abuser will never actually go to therapy or get help. Abuse is about power, pride, and control. It would hurt their pride to admit they are compensating for the power they don’t have, and in turn attempt to keep control in their own hands inappropriately. The entire time these lyrics are being said, the music video is playing the story of a man and a woman (played my Megan Fox, a popular sex symbol) in a toxic relationship, abusing each other, and having sex through it and getting off on the anger. This is a subliminal message to the adolescents and adults who watch this and listen to the song. It is brain washing them to think that abuse is sexy and a game. It fetishizes pain through anger and physical brutality, in relation to sex.

I am personally an advocator of any sex practice that is consensual between two human beings of appropriate age. I even support S&M when done correctly. There is an education about it that you must go through to be safe when performing BDSM. There are negotiation skills, safety rules and words, and boundaries to be learned before ever dipping into that kind of stuff. Once you acquire the maturity of those skills and have full conversations about it with your partner, I believe it is fully consensual and safe. If you try to do it on your own without taking classes or reading up on it, it can allow unwanted darkness into the bedroom.

There is nothing consensual about abuse. It is a power struggle and must be stopped. I hope that we can start teaching children, and people in general, to think critically about media forms like this song and music video. If we fail to do so, I fear the worst for their health and well being in relationships, and in return their entire lives.

Becoming a Media Psychic

It is time for the 5 o’clock news. First story on the screen is a crime committed at the local grocery store. Someone has assaulted a man in the parking lot and taken his money. Can you predict who did it? That’s right! A white male who has been on probation since he was released from prison 3 months ago. That was your guess right? Come now, surely you didn’t give in to the stereotype of assuming it was a black man, did you? I guess I could understand if you did, seeing how black men are two times more likely to be shown as criminals on TV than white men (Dixon: 2013). [That’s probably why no one invited a black man to be in the CLUE party game. It would be too easy to know who did it, and it is too fancy of a party anyway. Let’s see how long it takes for them to guess which rich white person actually killed somebody!] The only way we can invite a black man into our home, is as a criminal  on our TV screen. We shouldn’t look at crime reports where black men are arrested 21% of the time, versus the 37% shown on the news (Dixon: 2013). If we did, we would have to start considering the facts outside of the little glass box we depend on so much. We might actually have to start being aware of the racist and stereotyped assumptions and fears that are being fed to us. No, we mustn’t do that; for it is shown that putting this into our consciousness can actually help defer fears and assumptions (Devine: 1989; Livingston & Brewer: 2002). This reflective thinking means we would have to start monitoring what we watch and being careful to analyze it with a critical view. No, no, no. That is too much work. We like it the way it is. A world where white men rule the high graces of our dominant discourse of oppression; a world where women and minorities are stamped with negativity to keep them down; a world where we try to pitch everyone against each other in chaos to distract us from what we could do to band together and make the world a better place. It just makes it that much easier to be a media psychic, right?

Sources Cited

Devine, P.G. Stereotypes and Predjudice: Their Automatic and Controlled Components. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. 1989. P. 56, 5-18

            Dixon, Travis L. “He Was a Black Guy”: How the News Continues to Create Dear of Black. Lind, Rebecca Ann. Race/ Gender/ Class/ Media 3.0, Considering Diversity across Audiences, Content, and Producers, 3rd Ed. Pearson Education Inc, 2013. P. 24-29

            Livingston, R.W.; Brewer, M. B. What are We Really Priming? Cue-based versus Category-based Processing of Facial Stimuli. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. 2002. P.82(1), 5-18

News with a Feminine Touch

   Since 1971 the FCC has extended a legal invitation to women in joining the news workforce. There were many who accepted this offer for the first decade, soaring female news rates to 33%. After this though, the rate slowed down to where it is today. In television news they hold 40%, the highest percentage of that being producers, then anchors, and finally reporters. Radio news is much lower with 29%, usually consisting of radio room directors (Papper: 322-328).
   Looking at the statistics, we have seen a very positive rise in the role of women in news; however, today the numbers have plateaued. On this level we can also see some interesting trends. You rarely see, if ever, two women anchors behind the news desk.  A woman is usually accompanied, or "complimented", by a fellow male anchor in the cast and beside her. We are talking big time news like CNN, MSNBC, FOX, ABC, and more. If we were to speak of talk shows, there are women galore; although, this is not a news show, nor the one place anyone would truly say they get their news. Women could never be trusted on their own to give relevant and stable news, right? So, we make them weather reporters, never sport or news flash reporters, and only anchor if they are lucky. This is only because we have to make sure there is a good man for each woman, to balance out the validity of their information of course.
   When women do make it to the big time and make a name for themselves in high profile news, we sexualize or demonize them. The only way they can have so much power is through sex, so we have to watch every single move, and point out any chance that they could be having an affair with a top dog executive. If there are two women in a similar top spot, surely they hate each other and we will see a cat fight soon. No woman can hold her own without being threatened. This means taking sexual advantage of high class men, or taking down their fellow women. For example, everyone has expected a cat fight out of the two famous wall street reporters Maria Bartiromo and Erin Burnett. Interview after interview asks these women about their side to the rivalry, that must be between them. Every time they are presented with a question about the other, answers only consist of mutual respect and confidence in the other. They have worked hard to make themselves known, not the other. Both have also had their own moments of sexualization and sex scandal insinuations.
   We have made great changes in the size of the female news workforce since the original spike in the seventies. We still have some way to go, but things are getting there. The moment we release the women in these positions from social and sexual expectations, the more balanced the numbers will be. After this, perhaps we can see more changes in other workforces too.


Interesting article on the wall street women Maria Bartiromo and Erin Burnett:  http://www.vanityfair.com/politics/features/2008/11/moneyhoney200811


Source Cited
Papper, Robert A. "Women in TV and Radio News". Lind, Rebecca Ann. Race/ Gender/ Class/ Media 3.0, Considering Diversity across Audiences, Content, and Producers, 3rd Ed. Pearson Education Inc, 2013. P. 322-328

RACE to the Finish: Who Can make fun of Minorities in the News First?

A very popular thing today, is seeing how we can make examples of race in our daily news. We use a "story" such as attempted rape, apartment fires, and town folklore to mask our true intentions; which is, to provide entertainment through the comical objectification of the people that have these stories as their lives. Yes, most of the people that make these prime time entertainment (not news, whatsoever) spots, are minorities with colorful personalities. Instead of focusing on the details of stories that are real dangers in areas where people actually live, we look at the way they make light of the situation to survive by acting dynamically. What else would they have? If they don't make light of the situation or try to show dramatic strength, who else would? Us. We take advantage of it and spin it on its head to make ourselves feel better about the bad things that exist in this world. Did anyone really ask the young woman if her and her daughter we truly ok and safe in the Antoine Dodson video? No. They showed the short clip they had to for moral coverage, and then let the rest of it go to Antoine. It is great that he was speaking out against the perpetrator and trying to protect his sister, but making that the shorter clip and getting down to the real information would have been just fine too. The information about what happened and how everyone was being taken care of in the "Ain't nobody got time for that" story was the last 5 seconds of the video and was blown by quickly. The footage shown about the Mobile leprechaun includes people trying to make their arguments about the existence of this myth, with biased editing of the most eccentric things they said and did. After they return to the news room the anchors do nothing but make fun of these people, instead of trying to be serious, professional and possibly stand up for their local neighbors. Do you notice another trend about all of these news stories that end up viral? All of the victims and the interviewees are black. What does that say about how the news views black people and their stories? It obviously means they think we want to make fun of them, justifying them doing it too. That shows a great deal about our relationship with the media. We watch what they give us, and they give us what they think we will watch. If we allow them to keep making spectacles of people in the name of "news", rather than providing us information about the world around the people and us, we are creating a toxic system. We are going without the educational information about the world we need, and people are never going to be taken seriously. Every human being deserves the care of others, so let's start by calling out the media when they try to underhandedly attack our fellow people.